Pagi yang dingin. Aku merapatkan sweaterku—dan
mulai menghirup dalam-dalam udara yang segar—lalu meregangkan otot-ototku
didepan pintu kamarku yang berhadapan langsung dengan langit luas, karena
kamarku berada dilantai dua.
Semalam hujan turun deras, semua aku menyukai
hujan. Bagiku hujan adalah sumber kedamaian, hati terasa tentram dan pikiran
pun terasa lega. Aku seorang mahasiswa disebuah Universitas Swasta di Kotaku.
Aku baru semester satu. Aku adalah anak pertama dari dua bersaudara. Aku datang
dari keluarga berkecukupan yang tenteram bahagia. Aku mempunyai seorang
kekasih. Dia gadis yang usianya sama denganku. Dia baik, cantik, pengertian dan
pemaaf. Dan satu lagi, ia kuat menjalani hidupnya walau ia bertahan dari obat-obatan.
Sally
terkena serangan jantung sejak ia duduk dibangku kelas 3 SMA. Entah keturunan
atau bukan penyakit yang ia derita. Jika ia sedang dirawat, aku sering
meluangkan waktuku untuknya—serta menguatkan dirinya.
Aku
teringat saat itu, aku sedang menemaninya diruang rawatnya, aku menyanyikan
sebuah lagu untuknya,
“I could stay awake just to hear
you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing”, Aerosmith – I don’t wanna miss a thing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing”, Aerosmith – I don’t wanna miss a thing
Dan
ketika ia sudah boleh pulang kerumah, saat itu kami sempatkan pergi ketaman
untuk menenangkan pikirannya. Dan ketika sore menjelang, kami pun pulang. Dan
sesampainya dikamarku, aku meneleponnya lalu menyanyikan sebuah lagu untuknya,
“And we can run
From the backdrop
Of these gears and scalpels
At every hour
Goes the tick-tock bang of monitors as
They stared us down
When we met in the emergency room
And in our beds
I could hear you breathe
With help from cold machines
Every hour
On the hour
They drew blood
Well I felt I couldn't take
Another day inside this place
From silent dreams we never wake
And in this promise that we'll make
Starless eyes for heaven's sake
But I hear you anyway
Well I thought I heard you
Say I like you
We can get out
We don't have to stay
Stay inside this place
Someday
This day
We kept falling down
Someday
This day
Set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left my heart an open wound
And I love you for
This day
Someday we kept falling down
One day
This day
All we had to keep us safe
And if
We never sleep again
It would never end
Well I thought I heard you say to me
We'll go so far
Far as we can
And I just can't stay
One day we'll run away”, My Chemical Romance – This is the best day ever
From the backdrop
Of these gears and scalpels
At every hour
Goes the tick-tock bang of monitors as
They stared us down
When we met in the emergency room
And in our beds
I could hear you breathe
With help from cold machines
Every hour
On the hour
They drew blood
Well I felt I couldn't take
Another day inside this place
From silent dreams we never wake
And in this promise that we'll make
Starless eyes for heaven's sake
But I hear you anyway
Well I thought I heard you
Say I like you
We can get out
We don't have to stay
Stay inside this place
Someday
This day
We kept falling down
Someday
This day
Set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left my heart an open wound
And I love you for
This day
Someday we kept falling down
One day
This day
All we had to keep us safe
And if
We never sleep again
It would never end
Well I thought I heard you say to me
We'll go so far
Far as we can
And I just can't stay
One day we'll run away”, My Chemical Romance – This is the best day ever
Sebelum
aku tidur malam, Sally meneleponku. Aneh, baru kali ini dia meneleponku tengah malam begini semenjak ia sering masuk
Rumah Sakit. Lalu ia menyanyikan sebuah lagu untukku dengan nada suara yang
serak,
” Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you”, My Chemical Romance - Cancer
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you”, My Chemical Romance - Cancer
Dan yang paling kuingat, saat
nyawanya sudah tak tertolong, itu terjadi setelah seminggu ia menelepon dan
menyanyikan sebuah lagu untukku.
Aku menyanyikan sebuah lagu untuknya,
“Hand in mine
Into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you
We could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you
In a hail of bullets
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know just how much
You mean to me
And after
All the things
We put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two
Keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like
There's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you
And we'll keep it running
But this time
I mean it
I'll let you know just how much
You mean to me
As snow falls
On desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know
How much you mean
As days fade
And nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end
Until this pool of blood
Until this
I mean this
I mean this
Until the end of
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know
How much you mean
As days fade
And nights grow
And we go cold
But this time
We'll show them
We'll show them all
How much we mean
As snow falls
On desert sky
Until the end of every
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains
Will pass on through
Our phantoms
Forever
Forever
Like scarecrows
That fuel this flame
We're burning
Forever
And ever
Know how much
I want to show you
You're the only one
Like a bed of roses
There's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes
And in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes
I mean this forever”, My Chemical Romance – Demolition Lover
Into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you
We could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you
In a hail of bullets
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know just how much
You mean to me
And after
All the things
We put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two
Keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like
There's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you
And we'll keep it running
But this time
I mean it
I'll let you know just how much
You mean to me
As snow falls
On desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know
How much you mean
As days fade
And nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end
Until this pool of blood
Until this
I mean this
I mean this
Until the end of
I'm trying
I'm trying
To let you know
How much you mean
As days fade
And nights grow
And we go cold
But this time
We'll show them
We'll show them all
How much we mean
As snow falls
On desert sky
Until the end of every
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are
All we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains
Will pass on through
Our phantoms
Forever
Forever
Like scarecrows
That fuel this flame
We're burning
Forever
And ever
Know how much
I want to show you
You're the only one
Like a bed of roses
There's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes
And in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes
I mean this forever”, My Chemical Romance – Demolition Lover
Disamping
kuburnya aku terduduk sambil memegang nisannya dengan tangan kiriku.
Oh
Tuhan, aku mencintainya...